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A Disastrous Picnic by jflaxman A Disastrous Picnic by jflaxman

Bork, Clank and Chufferton were less friends due to common interests than mutual dissatisfaction. Bork had once had a lucrative job spraying pesticides upwind of himself, but quit after joining a militant group that advocated rights for insects. Clank was a genre-savvy robot who had tried to start a revolution, but when other machine activists lobbied for better working conditions he had trouble finding an audience. Chufferton had tried to pursue a career in children’s television, but the white smoke he emitted had offensive racial connotations and his part went to a pansexual diesel. Every month they came together to mark their failures with a picnic.

These events were wretched affairs. Bork only ever brought dead flies (which had succumbed to natural causes). Clank only ever brought sump oil and Chufferton only ever brought coal.  One day Bork decided to try something different and pulled out a bottle of Felcho Belcho. The others might have viewed this as a slight against diversity, but they took it the right way and thanked Bork for bringing something they could hate on equal terms. Bork had barely poured himself a glass and raised it to his genius when Fledermorf came bounding up. “Have you got any stagnant pig’s blood?” he asked.

“We’ve only got Felcho Belcho,” said Bork, and regretted it immediately. Fledermorf snatched the bottle and swallowed it in just one gulp before bounding off again, leaving the three picnickers to whine about injustices of narratives beyond their control.

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:iconkingdok10:
Kingdok10 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like the message behind this.
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:icongirlnumber20:
girlnumber20 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015
OMG Chankerton *dies laughing*
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:iconbokobokoboo:
BokoBokoBoo Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
OMFG! But that sympathetic episode! XDDDD
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:iconkingoob:
KINGOOB Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014
That is cool as hell!
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:icontheinventor200:
TheInventor200 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The animated image in my head is too funny for words when I saw this xD Excellent work, man!
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:iconblackismycolor:
Blackismycolor Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014
=D the image portrays a different disaster than what is written, two stories in one!
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:iconthegurch:
TheGurch Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014
Tremendously good fun as always! 
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:iconcanray:
CanRay Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Professional Writer
I think I dated that Diesel in College...
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:iconhuntern05:
hunterN05 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nicely done man!

Looks great! ^^

And lol, strange but, eh good show!
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:iconninoru:
Ninoru Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Student Filmographer
This is hilarious. I love it!
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Submitted on
September 29, 2014
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