Some British citizens were so alarmed at the prospect of a sequel to ‘V for Vendetta’ they sent their children to the country. Harold and Mary just hid in a bin. But it was no ordinary bin. It led to a faraway land where it was always Christmas but never winter: a fair approximation of hell.
“Ho!” said Aslan, the talking lion. “That was indeed no ordinary bin! A terrorist left a bomb in it and blew your poor little bodies to bits, so now you’re here with me forever!”
What happened then was almost too beautiful for words. Aslan’s leg grew, and grew, until it no longer looked like a lion’s leg! “Wow!” cried Harold and climbed on. Mary squealed as she touched it. “It’s like yoghurt wrapped in skin!”
“What’s happening to me?” cried Aslan. “It’s not meant to go like this!”
“You’re suffering from a severe case of neoplasia,” said a nearby talking owl. “It’s rare, but you’re not the first. Chalk up another victory for the proponents of Intelligent Design.”